At lunch today I picked up last week's SF Weekly, because I had saved it, of course, and began reading the cover story, "Gathering Storm: They pile up their stuff to the point of fire danger and rat infestation."
As I read, it dawned on me that I was more like these sick people than I would care to admit. Okay, so I'm gainfully employed and I pay my bills on time, but what if I didn't have a wife to keep my hoarding in check? What if I didn't have the support system of friends and family keeping me afloat, psychologically speaking?
The acquiring of and failure to discard seemingly useless possessions, causing significant clutter, distress, and impairment to basic living activities. That's the definition mental health researchers have basically agreed on for compulsive hoarding and cluttering. They also agree that hoarding behaviors cut across ethnicity, gender, and socioeconomic status, and although the elderly tend to hoard more than the young, they certainly don't have a monopoly. Hoarders can often be identified in suburban areas by the possessions spilling out of their homes, while in cities like San Francisco, they are often concentrated in smaller, concealed dwellings. According to a just-released citywide task force report on hoarding, there are an estimated 12,000 to 25,000 hoarders living in San Francisco.Let's run down the checklist here... acquiring of useless possessions? Check. Failure to discard said items? Check. Significant clutter? Check. Distress? Check. Impairment to basic living activities? Not yet, but could that be where I'm headed?
I went back to my cluttered desk after lunch, and hit shuffle on my iPod. Out of more than 10,000 songs to choose from -- am I hoarding music, too? -- my iPod dialed up George Carlin's, "A Place for My Stuff." Okay, okay, I get the message already!
I am a compulsive hoarder. There, I said it. But I'm not happy about it. My problem is that I have difficulty throwing things away. I rationalize my problem by making up excuses about reusing and recycling, but when it comes down to it I'm overwhelmed by stuff. That's why I'm writing about my problem. Because I know I'm not alone, and because I believe I can heal myself, with a little help.
I refuse to let myself become like the infamous Collyer Brothers, who accumulated 100 tons of debris and in 1947 died from compulsive hoarding.
I refuse to let myself become like actress Delta Burke, of Designing Women, who "admitted last year that she once rented 27 storage units" for her hoarding collection.
I've come to a huge realization, especially just a few days after beginning this journey of self-improvement. I'm scared and excited at the same time. Whatever happens, I'll continue to track my thoughts, my progress and my setbacks here on this site.
By the way, if you're wondering about the other guy who writes here, let me just say that I don't think he's a compulsive hoarder. I think his issues relate to organization and time management. I have those issues, too. But we're in this together, and with some work and persistence, we're both going to make drastic changes to improve our lives.
References:
Harrell, Ashley. "Gathering Storm" SF Weekly, March 24, 2009
Institute on Compulsive Hoarding and Cluttering
Delta Burke has 27 storage units?! Two rooms full of porcelain dolls alone? Well you might have characteristics of her, but hers stem from depression. I don't see that coming from you, although my pop psych doesn't have a concrete answer for ya at this time.
ReplyDeleteYou have to ask yourself, why is it so hard for you to throw things away? Maybe once you can answer that, it will become easier for you to start discarding things?